Had a huge breakthrough last night and this morning. An enormous outpouring of anger, elevating to rage over a period starting yesterday early afternoon that popped at around 4am with a combo of realizations to clear the mental body. About two hours of energywork to repair the wounds in body-mind-spirit made prior to the realization followed right after.
A couple of key factors:
- I didn't express the rage outward at the folks doing the behaviors that were the focus around the rage, in response to their pointing their sharp/destructive energy at me. I only took one action: I made a statement of facts to pierce their false belief system, then backed away as they insisted on believing in and asserting their delusion in spite of the facts presented.
- I didn't try to suppress the rage as it poured out into my body and mind. Didn't try to talk myself out of it. Just let it run. It felt like violent shaking inside of my skull. And after the "shaking" subsided, what I saw was that the rage was essentially a message from my inner "watcher", of how it identified a person attempting to harm me. This message, up until last night, was something I'd refused to listen to wholly, and so the watcher ramped up the vibrational message, ramped it up from a simple directive to uneasiness, then to anger, then rage, then Rage. The Rage was only an unheeded message, a kind of vibrational screaming and yelling to get my attention.
- Because I'd already refused to listen to the warning message, and had allowed my living and working to become aligned with harmful, delusional folks, I'd mostly likely have to pay a price to extract myself. The cost is both financial, and mental/emotional. I agreed to pay whatever price I needed to. This agreement isn't with the people involved, but to Life, to do what it takes to bring balance.
If this sounds confusing, it really breaks down to this:
- warning given by inner watcher that a No is present. action of "walk away" is needed.
- warning not heeded, so price for not walking away is levied on body-mind-spirit to make the lesson of "Trust The Watcher" more clear.
If you're feeling anger, there's nothing wrong with it. It's simply your watcher trying to get you to listen to something. What is it screaming to you?
(I wish I could tell the actual stories, but the watcher says No. See previous post :)