Hello. It is Malcolm. I am here.
Yes. There is dastardly in my beingness. But I am Malcolm. My karma comes with fuzziness and fangs and tough whiskery love. I am at peace with the profundity of my Weaseliness. I am One with The Dastardly in my soul.
What alpha kitty doesn't like to get out there and kick a little fur? Bite heads and rumble fuzzily, show some dominance at the litter box, then retreat to the food bowl to recount tales of growly battle, followed by a trip to Snoozeville?
But have you factored in my sweet side? My sweet side is so very sweet.
Why look. Can you see them?
Why Yes. It is my Chocolate Lips. For Baby Emmaline to smooch. And to tickle Katmama's fingers with when I wash her hands with my scratchy tongue of Yes.
Yes. I am dastardly. But my Chocolate Lips give me away. I am also Malcolm, King of The Snuggles. And I wish to climb upon your head while you snooze, to purr my Yes into your ear, so that you too will be at one with your soul.