I didn't get as much done as I wanted. But I got some rest, and that's huge. I spent Monday through Thursday sleeping in late, then 8-12 getting things done with blog and novel, starting to reach out to folks again, looking at blogs, twittering, answering emails. Then all day Friday, on fire, serious action mode, then Saturday, sick as a dog, digestive and back pain so bad that I barely got out of bed, and then only to get to the couch.
And so Saturday night I decided to pull out the big guns, do a serious consciousness raising, set up the Vibrant Living room like I would if I were having folks over for a shamans' circle, do a shamanic journey for myself under the influence of greenery. Because I do a lot of shamanic journeys for other people, for client sessions, soul retrievals, the Sunday night classes. But rarely for myself. I'd forgotten how outrageously intense they could be, how they dive right into the heart of an issue, pull out and look from several different perspectives, and then give what action needs to be taken and why.
All the cats joined me, I went in for a half hour, came out, took notes in my dream/journey journal. The journey itself was spectacular. Like watching a movie called Katherine's Life. It showed me all sorts of stuff: how fat is a kind of body armor, a kind of kevlar that successfully keeps men from getting through; how food is a way that I deal with anxiety, and until the anxiety is dealt with, the comfort eating will continue; how every single one of my physical systems is offline in one major way or another and that if I don't deal with it soon, a very big crash is coming, one that will break my body in a way it won't be able to fully recover from.
And then I got the directive: exercise. Yeah, big whoop, right? But it showed that while the dancing I've been doing has helped get some fluidity back, I need to be doing more hardcore exercise - specifically running and weightlifting. I saw that I need to just walk and do light sets for a week or two, then slowly bring in more intensity. And to download podcasts to my ipod shuffle.
I saw that the only true stream of energy went like this: exercise --> release toxins --> create endorphins --> decreased anxiety --> less anxiety eating --> systems will begin to clear themselves.
And so even though I felt horrible yesterday, sick and in pain, I went for a walk, about 2 miles listening to podcasts from Garrison Keillor and Freaknomics, and then I did a few sets for shoulders, chest, biceps, triceps and I actually felt a little better.
Still, at 5pm, I went down to Carolina Beach, to sample the magic that is Britt's Doughnuts, because I won't be eating anything like that for a while. And I ate four, and they made me feel really sick, but instead of giving myself sh*t, I just ate a lot of green juice and supplements, took an extra "colon-spasm" med that my GI doc prescribed last week. And then I watched Serenity for the dozenth time, then went to bed.
The answer is almost always simple, but it's rarely easy . . .right?