Flu, Flue, Flew

Sorry for the dead air but I've been in a coma, or at least a coma-like twilight state. Other folks would call it "the flu", but you know how mythic I am about everything . . .

The thing is, I haven't been sick in over 12 years. I've had generic head colds and some of them have been endorsed by cement companies that specialize in head faucets, but a fever, the flu? It's been so long that it took me a day to figure it out.

I won't bore you with the details, because I'm sure you're intimately equated with all the howling, crying, sweaty-headed minutiae, but suffice it to say that it certainly changed my frame of mind. I went to bed on Friday night much like I always do: my head full of thinky thoughts, my belly full of things like sauteed turnips, tomato and basil vinaigrette salad, and roasted asparagus. I had taken a hot bath with valerian and hops and was pleasantly narcoleptic. Then at 1:30am I awoke. To this segmented thought: Something. Is. Not right. I need. To wake. Up. Go to. The bathroom. Put hair. Into ponytail. Breathe. Deeply.

What was so odd, so different, was that it wasn't an unpleasant experience. It was as I were inhabiting a being who was ill, and I coached her through it, gave her things to do to blunt the physical experience, make it less intense, and they worked. (Is this what being single for so long has finally brought to me?)

I called my sis the next morning and asked her to bring me banana/pineapple/orange juice (yum) as any sort of vertical motion had been rendered impossible beyond 2-minutes in duration. And while she was here, because she is Queen of the Sisters, she did my dishes, cleaned the bathroom, and pooperscooped for the kitties. (Seriously, queen or what?)

I ran a fever of 101-102 for two days, and all during that time, all I did was sleep, and drift. I was so weak that even holding a thought was beyond my capabilities.

Two days of no thoughts. Just simple needs arising - lip balm, juice, kitty food in bowl, change position - that then took several long, slow movements undertaken over many minutes to complete. Life in genuine slow motion. So incredibly lovely. Such quiet. Such simplicity. The phone rang, but no need to answer it. Emails can sit. No work. No talk. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go. Absolutely off the hook for everything to everyone.

I would awake after a couple of hours of sleep suspended in a cocoon of warmth and safety, conscious that my body was simmering, cooking itself, had turned into a self-directed cleaning mechanism, and that my job was to stay out of its way. The aching was terrible, but it was only terrible if I tried to stay awake. As long as I simply attended to simple needs, then went back to sleep, all was well.

The kitties stayed with me the entire time. And their purring was ratcheted up so intensely it was like being hooked up to fur powered love generators. And they smelled so sweet. What was that? What did it mean? I lay there in a fever haze, snuggled up to fuzzy, purring kitties, breathing in the scent of heaven and forest hybrids. How sweet to be so free of the world and so plugged into the joy of agape? Very, very sweet.

And so my body finally reached a firm understanding with the viral interlopers. My fever broke and I sweat, oh the sweat, sweaty-head, sweaty bed, kitties sliding out of my arms. And slowly, little by little the thoughts came back, and the doing, though not so much of either as before.

This morning I weighed myself to see that I'd lost two pounds (dang skippy), then did a phone interview for an amazing job (which I tanked), then watered my herb garden (which made it happy), then capped the day off with a visit to the video store where I said howdy to the clerks (who said howdy back). And I'm exhausted. And that's fine.

Because life goes, much like it does after one has had the flu have its way with you . . .

Comments

[beth]

...has it's way with you, and leaves you feeling like a limp dishrag. trite expression, perhaps, but pretty well captures it. ;) hopefully, you're still feeling better today - and perhaps a little lighter? always found that restarting the brain from scratch was actually Good.

[Denise]

So glad you are feeling better. Rest is good!

BTW, your salad dressing ROCKS!!!!!!

[Mouse]

Glad you're better
I lost 7 lbs during a recent bout of Some French Bug but unfortunately I found 10 lbs once I was over it
Tant pis and all that!