I need to be working on the stuff for my final grad class. I really shouldn't be doing anything other than that, but I have to write this, because I remember it so clearly, and not only do I need to have it be here for me, I want it to be here for you, too.
In the universe, intention is everything. We may think we can bullshit another person, or even ourselves, but deep down we can't: they/we/you always know. And so we go about lives saying: I want to be happy, I want prosperity, I want peace, I want buttheaded people to stop climbing all up in my grill. Yet, deep down, we pursue the unhappy, the difficult, the unfun. The Bullshit shows up at our door, we peer out the peekhole, see it standing there in all it's smarmy, neon glory, and we Let It In.
When all we have to do is say No.
Just say no thank you.
Why would we ever say anything but no thank you to a miasma of Bullshit at our door? Because we are afraid to turn anything down. Because we may not be perceiving it correctly, as in we think initially it might be Bullshit, when in fact it is actually a delicious vanilla cake with buttercream frosting and what Idiot says no to that?!?!? Or we are afraid that if we don't allow Bullshit in, and the next offering is Horrible Hideous Bullshit, then plain old Bullshit is wayyyy better than that, right? Or people around us say Hey, that's a nice Bullshit, only stoopid people say No to a nice, practical Bullshit, only crazy ungrateful people throw away a perfectly good Bullshit! Or we believe that the Bullshit will get better with time, like a nice bitey pinot or a wheel of sharp cheddar, when in fact Bullshit marinating in Lifejuice will simply get smellier, though of course it ultimately will serve as a nice, steamy compost.
And so I remember the secret. (The real secret as opposed that fake secret) (Feel free to say this aloud so that my "I" becomes your "I" as really, there is no You, only I in the universe):
I surrender to the fact that Life has things in store for me so much more interesting than what my clanging brainbox can come up with. Thank You Life for taking such excellent care of me. You have done a standup job. And the only regrets I have are when I look back and see the direction you were trying to herd me in, and saw that because I could only see two steps ahead and not the forty-nine, and had no faith, I took another path. But even that I thank you for, because now I have seen so much more of your infinite living, and also have much less desire to behave like an Arrogant Know-It-All-Weasel. So, Thank You Life for reminding me that the secret is to follow the Expansive Yes, to humbly say No Thank You to the Constrictive Uh-Uh, and to take as many actions as feel true in support of that Yes. Because you reward Intention. Oh yeah, how you reward Intention. And even when I have no idea where I'm going, no idea how it will turn out, thank you for giving me the wisdom and the energy to trust that You Seriously Got It Goin On.
In Life we trust. May Her a*ss-whoopins be interesting. May our faith in Her be just that. And may Her Cosmic Laugh giggle on, perpetually set loose from our own hee-howling maws . . .