It's almost midnight and I can't sleep. Bruce is on the couch and I can't bear the thought of going to bed alone right now. And so here I sit, an Evolutionary Psych exam tomorrow afternoon, a Stats one the day after, and all I can think about is how sad I feel.
It has been a lovely two weeks worth of visit, but there have been bumps. I haven't written about them, because I couldn't think for the life of me how to, especially knowing how tender beginnings can be, and of course knowing that he reads this blog. But now the bumps have grown into a mountain and somehow neither of us seem to have the right gear or maps to reach the summit of this particular peak.
It all just feels so sad. Both of us in a place that we have been in many times before. Both of us crying. But what is occurring is, and what isn't isn't, and there is nothing to be done about it. I apologize for the lack of details, but I don't know what else to say. Posting this is mostly a selfish act on my part because I can't bear the idea of more comments coming in from the last couple of posts. And because it's night. And I feel so alone right now . . . I had forgotten how lonely it feels when a lovely human being lies sleeping just a few feet away . . .
But tomorrow the sun will rise . . . and more will be revealed . . . and we will both surely survive whatever Life has in store for us . . . and I'm not sorry I took the risk . . . We're both kind people . . . we'll find a way through the muck to what is true for us . . .