Hello you lovely Tribe of Yes,
In the fall of 2003, I either sold or gave away all of my possessions except for some boxes that I stored with a friend and what I could fit in my Saturn SL3. I left behind my holistic work, my lovely friends, my gorgeous, funktastic apartment, and the wild life I'd lived there for seven years and headed out for a cabin on top of a mountain in Virginia with just me, my three kitties, some clothes, several boxes of books, ~30 different kinds of tea, and a newly acquired laptop and cell phone. I stayed on the mountain for 6 months.
Next, I moved to the wilds of Ohio where I stayed with friends for 6 weeks and then left for Albany, NY to go back to school at the fine, fine age of 38, first to finish the four semesters needed to complete my BA in Psych, and then on to grad school in the spring of 2006 for Public Health. I finished the core coursework by spring 2007. The last 2 classes were online and independent projects and could be completed anywhere. And so I decided to hit the road once more, to leave Albany and finish my masters degree in Wonderful Wilmington, NC where I spent most of my growing up years, where I hadn't lived in 23 years, and where I knew I just might lose my mind, or perhaps find something I'd left there oh so many years ago.
August of 2007, I completed my master's degree. September, 2007 I got a good job with good benefits with a good company. But six weeks in, those escalating feelings of misery, dread, and captivity? Life telling me: this job blows. October, 2007 I quit the job.
I began recreating my holistic business, but now with new tools and perspectives - Integral Shamanics style. Things were deepening and moving in a strong steady stream when I woke up one morning in early October, 2008 with one of the clearest directives my psychic Yes has ever sent me: Go Here (showed an image of building and a street in the town where I live) And Take The First Job They Offer You. So I got up, put on girl shoes and a blazer, and found out it was a state office, hiring folks with my credentials, and I said yes, and two weeks later, when the economy began to tank and everyone I knew was struggling to keep or find work, I was tucked safe in a stable job, using my shamanic skills in stealth mode to help the thousands of folks who'd lost their jobs, homes, cars, mates, and tunnel of reality.
After three years rocking the bureaucratic fiesta that is state employment, I applied for and was accepted to a fellowship working with environmental and policy related research and content design for a national evidence-based incentives and benefits module. I spent weekends and evenings, thanks to the magic that is Skype, continuing to do shamanic and psychic work with folks all over the globe.
I discovered that researching and writing and living in a cubicle full-time was rewarding on one level and harshed my mellow on many others. I discovered that doing shamanic and psychic work filled me with Yes every single session.
In March, 2012, with the fellowship crashing to a muffled close, I moved back into doing shamanic work full-time. In the preceding year, I'd spent a lot of time sitting on the porch hanging with greenery, with stars and moon, sun and rain, with trees and hawks, cardinals and deer, wind and vibration. I had a vision that built with each shift of season. I began writing it down. The vision is this:
There is a data stream that runs underneath and behind this world, this thing we call reality. I want to teach as many folks as possible about the data stream. How it's there for all of us, like an infinite library that contains all times, backwards and forwards, all dimensions. How the library card is our birthright, along with opposable thumbs and highly functioning frontal lobes. And how to use the data stream to help connect the global biosphere in a way that sings Yes, that births a global organism that joins in the conscious, universal dance with truth, eyes wide open.
I hope you'll join me with The Tribe of Yes at Integral Shamanics. Not much action there right now, but it's certainly beautiful. . .
I have lived in 120+ places in seven states and held at least that many different jobs including feng shui consultant, actor, bartender, limo driver, truck driver, personal assistant, medical intuitive/psychic, holistic practitioner, dancer, yogini, weight loss instructor, strip club waitress, urban public school system district wellness coordinator, and now mobile health writer for a tech startup.
Even though it's now infrequently, I write this here blog as a form of Life-as-jigsaw-puzzle, to continue my close watch on the organic robot that I am, to assist me with living the truth, and to illuminate the Yes through my Dances With Words.
I have had over forty soulmates and have discovered there is no such thing. I haven't been in love in over a decade, and have found that love wears many faces, most of them way better than the romance thing. The next guy? He'll be my best friend. And he'll be delightfully weird.
I have overturned a hundred thousand stones and moments searching for proof of god and I have discovered that god is Nothing. And also that being I hung out with during my sixth ayahuasca launch.
My constant traveling companions are three cats: Baby Wallace, AKA Almond Joy and Fire Puma, ginger striped, smells like warm fragrant stew on a cold winter night, deeply elegant and neurotic; and Baby Malcolm (AKA Silky Noodle/Ravioli, DJ Silky, My Vulpine Brother) and Baby Emmaline (AKA Truck-Flower Hybrid, Sweet Bebe, Baby Alice) AKA the Twins, extremely weaselly tabbies, nocturnal feline hats and balaclavas and serapes for lucky me, must be on me/with me/all up in my stuffs every second of every day, and the sweetest dang beings I've ever had the pleasure to hang with. . .
Canine punk, Woodrow the pit-bill Boxer mix has joined our nightly sleep snuggle pile back in June of 2014. He is a mighty spooner, and keeps me honest, happy, and fiercely, hilariously playful.
Sweet Jacinta, Cassidy AKA Grandma Booty, and Calhoon AKA The Hoon, dropped their bodies in 2011, 2006 and 2008, but are still with us, every day, in thought and deed and the space of love.
Life is so good. Especially when it comes with kitties and a big ole puppy.
More will be revealed and I'm ready, willing, and able for whatever Life-God-Spirit brings me as this living thing unfolds.
I believe in spacious energy, spiritual autolysis and creative expression as a path to salvation. I believe we are all already saved but most of us are too consumed by all the shiny things to realize it.
I believe that surrendering to the Infinite Gorgeous Slavering Yes that is engulfing a living in ever expanding and contracting spirals is a dang fine way to live a life. I believe that all the love we need is inside of us. I believe that any love experienced in this world is better seen as a verb in motion rather than a stationary noun.
I believe in less and less every day . . .